Category: funny conversations

Jonah : I work at the White House…

Jonah : I work at the White House…
Mike : Oh my God! You work at the White House? Can I blow you?

Selina : Doyle is essential you know? He’s like the Russian doll of Senate. Comes with little senators inside him.

Selina : Doyle is essential you know? He’s like the Russian doll of Senate. Comes with little senators inside him.

*Dan trying to figure out to open windows in Veep’s office*

*Dan trying to figure out to open windows in Veep’s office*
Gary : Those don’t open. Those are anti-suicide windows.
Dan : They only put those in after you started working here, right, Gary?

Dan : Amy, I am genuinely sorry that my arrival here has caused you to become so self-conscious and gain a little weight.

Dan : Amy, I am genuinely sorry that my arrival here has caused you to become so self-conscious and gain a little weight.
Amy : Fuck point you.

Dan : Are you still tracking my every move? I thought we agreed to move on?

Dan : Are you still tracking my every move? I thought we agreed to move on?
Amy : Move on from what? We dated for like a week. It was like getting over a mild food poisoning.

Dan : Hey! What’s up pumpkin?

Dan : Hey! What’s up pumpkin?
Amy : What the fuck are you still doing here?

Selina : But it was a joke.

Selina : But it was a joke.
Dan : If I could, I think I would behoove you to make an apology as soon as possible, in which case I can get someone in your office from an appropriate mental health charity…
Mike : Who the fuck is pretty boy? Who the fuck is pretty boy?
Dan : Look it’s going to be in the papers tomorrow.
Mike : Not necessarily. Let’s not make it the story and panic, okay? What if Tom Hanks dies?
Everyone : WHAT???
Gary : What a dark thought.
Mike : I’m not wishing that. I’m saying anything could happen… Tom Hanks could die.
Dan : How did you get this job? You really want to base your press strategy based on trying to figure out when Tom Hanks is gonna die.
Amy : Can we not strategize in a closet?

Jonah : White House says we need to majorly redact Veep’s speech, okay?

Jonah : White House says we need to majorly redact Veep’s speech, okay?
Mike : I will redact your fucking face.

Selina : Okay what do you think of Dan?

Selina : Okay what do you think of Dan?
Amy : Oh, Dan is a shit.
Selina : You want to expand on that?
Amy : Sure. He is a massive and total shit. When you first meet him, you think surely to God this man can’t be as big a shit as he seems, but he is. ‘Cause like if there were a book with covers made of shit, you’d think “That’s intriguing. I wonder what’s in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit.” And then you open it and….. shit.

Mike : Jonah how many times have you talked to the President today?

Mike : Jonah how many times have you talked to the President today?
Jonah : He actually spoke to me four times today.
Mike : Four? And in each of those did he say, “Someone get this freak the fuck away from me”?