5.03 – The Eagle
You’ll be such a great dad. That’s how I was raised.
#DaddyEgan2k18 #his kid’s gonna be so fucked up #wearing suits instead of onesies and shit
It’s so smooth, it’s amazing. It’s like touching a child’s face.
#psycho puppy!dan might be my favourite dan
Dan, you’re like the closest person I’ve ever met to the guy in American Psycho. And I think you might think that that’s a compliment, but that’s just because a part of your brain is missing.
You dumped my daughter by text message and didn’t even apologize.
You know, I’m very glad I decided at the time that Dan’s line about “schoolgirls can’t keep secrets” was said purely to generate a reaction from Amy, and was not in any way sincere, because…in light of all the Roy Moore stories, that line becomes considerably less funny.
If they could make him slightly less sexually gross next year, that’d be nice.