Regular

defendersincorrectquotes:

““My best friends are both lawyers, they are BOTH lawyers, and sometimes they would be LIKE LAWYERS with me. One time, I walked into work, and Foggy said, “Good morning Karen, did you get any sleep?” And I said, yes. But here’s the thing. I hadn’t. And so I go off to work and Foggy comes back in five minutes later with my coffee and says “Karen, is this your coffee?” And I say “Yes.” “So we AGREE that this is your Coffee. Karen, this Coffee has five shots of espresso in it, you obviously did not get any sleep last night, you lied to me.” I said, “Foggy, I did not lie, I said that I got some sleep, I never specified that I slept last night, and if the court reporter reads back my remarks, you will see that I did not perjure myself.” Matt is more like Nancy Grace. He just makes wild accusations all day long and waits for one to stick. Matt sometimes blames me for things that happened on the news. I went into work one morning and Matt was standing at my desk, and he said “I just heard that Frank Castle has escaped prison!” Like I HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT! I was like, “Matt, I have been writing for The Daily Bugle all night, you can feel my laptop, it’s warm.””

— (John Mulaney, new in town)

The passive-aggressive accusation at the end sounds exactly like Matt Murdock.