gettin amy vibes from gone girl -I go on dates…

gettin amy vibes from gone girl -I go on dates with men who are nice and good-looking and smart – perfect-on-paper men who make me feel like I’m in a foreign land, trying to explain myself, trying to make myself known. Because isn’t that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood? He gets me. Isn’t that the simple magic phrase?So you suffer through the night with the perfect-on-paper man – the stutter of jokes misunderstood, the witty remarks lobbed and missed

While our Amy is infinitely less sociopathic than Amy in Gone Girl, I can see it.  That whole paragraph could be Amy talking about Buddy.

And it goes back to that point that a substantial part of Dan’s hold on Amy is almost certainly that he’s one of the only people in her life who doesn’t care that she’s loud and demanding and awkward and constantly wound up.  It doesn’t bother him in the least.  He may well be the only person she knows who’s never tried to make her…tone herself down.

And, as we’ve seen, he understands her without having to be told (the Downton Abbey exchange in 6.03 illustrates that beautifully).  Now, in some ways, I think that makes things difficult for Amy – Dan understanding her in a deep, intimate way that no one else does probably just makes her feel even more vulnerable and exposed around him – but at the same time… what a relief it must be to know there is one person in her life that she could say literally anything to, and he wouldn’t care.

Especially as virtually everyone else in Amy’s life is keen to tell her how wrong and bad she is all the time.  Even Selina got in on the act in season 6, which had to hurt.  What made Gone Girl interesting to me (though I think the film is better than the book) is the sense that a lot of Amy Dunn’s viciousness is the result of her personality curdling under the relentless spotlight of gendered expectations.  

Amy Brookheimer is a much nicer person than Amy Dunn of course (which isn’t to say that she’s nice, just incapable of murdering someone in cold blood), but I think you can see a similar… pressure being exerted on her at times and, unsurprisingly, it is not good for her mental health.  That said, our Amy probably has a stronger sense of self, because she’s able to power through all that criticism and continue to be herself, rather than playacting as what she thinks people expect her to be.  It’s not an easy thing to do.