I really want a flashback episode a lá …

I really want a flashback episode a lá s6 next season where they show us how dan and Amy first met

I have no idea if they’ll do that – aging Reid and Anna down to whatever age they were when they first met may not be possible…  But I want to be filled in on at least some of their backstory.  

I especially want to know how Dan knows where Amy’s family lives, which we saw in season 5.  Because it seems too unlikely to me that Amy would have introduced him to her family if it really was, in her insistent terminology, three dates.  I mean there are people in my life who I have known for decades (well, a decade plus some change) who wouldn’t know where my parents live – Dan knowing that seems to imply a lot to me, and the show hasn’t really explained it.



Politics: myth vs. fact

Myth: everyone in politics is either Jed Bartlet or Frank Underwood no exceptions

Reality: everyone in politics is either Selina Meyer or Jim Hacker no exceptions

Now I’m sad, because there’s no prospect of getting Selina and Jim in the same scene, and the thought of the two of them trying to out-do each other is delightful.

I think Humphrey could out-strategise most of the cast of Veep though.


Channel 4 news

It may interest some of you to know that, back in my press officer days, Channel 4 news were, hands down, the people I was most scared to get a call from. (Fortunately it didn’t happen terribly often).

I mention this because, seriously, if at all possible, watch the Channel 4 broadcasts on Cambridge Analytica, because they are TERRIFYING. (And also, weirdly thrilling. Seriously, I postponed finishing Jessica Jones to watch the NEWS).

Seriously, while the show had real flaws, the data-mining storyline in Great News is looking more and more prescient. (And my god, the data breaches in The Thick of It and Veep seem so amateur and harmless in comparison)

Ideally, how many kids would you like to imagi…

Ideally, how many kids would you like to imagine that Dan and Amy end up with?

As many as they’re both happy with, I guess.

More seriously, I can’t picture Amy wanting a big family, if only because I doubt she’d be willing to be pulled away from her career as much as would inevitably happen with multiple pregnancies, probably very close together.

The women in her family do seem very fertile, at least according to her mother, (but her sister’s three pregnancies, and Dan impregnating her on his first…attempt, despite his fertility issues, would also point to that) which may mean she has more reproductive years in her than she may think.

That said, I have doubts about Amy’s ability to take the pill – she seems exactly the kind of person who gets caught up in whatever she’s doing and forgets about it – so another ‘oopsie’ could easily be on the cards. Which really isn’t that unusual – something like half of all pregnancies are unplanned (which doesn’t necessarily mean unwanted, mind you).

I remember arguing that a pregnancy scare (at the least) was incoming for Dan and Amy because of the time the show spent showing us Dan’s reaction to a potential pregnancy in season 1. (And note, in season 6 when Amy told him he neither berated her nor considered how he could use it to steal her job – stealth character growth in action!). And I wrote the ending of You Were Always On My Mind based very much on the same principle – i.e. at the beginning and end of the story we see Amy react to an unplanned pregnancy, as way of measuring the growth of their relationship. The first time she waits several weeks, and goes into the discussion with Dan trying to limit her exposure as much as possible, because she’s assuming he will hurt her even more. The second time she marches to his office and starts yelling at him about how upset she is within minutes of finding out she’s pregnant.

While I am not a psychic, I wouldn’t be totally stunned if the show did something similar – it’s a fairly predictable plot structure after all, and they have already done something very similar with Dan.

Besides, at least if there are two kids at least they’d be company for each other – I don’t think either Dan or Amy will be helicopter parents, to put it mildly.

At this point I think it’s safe to assum…

At this point I think it’s safe to assume that Dan actually loves Amy and with the way Season 5 went in terms of their relationship, I think it would’ve been interesting to see Amy with someone who she was ACTUALLY into and posed as a major threat to Dan. Dan is an extremely competitive person and I would’ve loved to see how he reacted to Amy with someone as handsome and smooth as he is.

Okay, I have a couple of thoughts on this, so bear with me.

First of all, I don’t think Veep could ever allow Amy to meet Tall, Dark and Nice to Her. Because unless Amy is a previously unknown species of masochist, in any competition between Dan and a man she is equally attracted to who has not slept with her sister, used her to advance his career and done his level best to make her feel unattractive… Dan loses. After the events of season 5, how could he ever convince her to pick him?

As things play out, Amy has to be brought very, very low in season 6 before she considers seeing Dan again. Buddy humiliates her in the national press and makes a mockery of her political career – she has no option but to go back to working for Selina, because no one else will hire her, and Selina not only makes a point of promoting RICHARD over her, she spends a considerable amount of time abusing Amy, reminding her that she is unattractive in every possible way. And then, to crown it all, Mike’s diary is leaked, Amy’s publicly accused of perjury and facing jail time… and Dan is right there, eager to take advantage of any opportunity she gives him to reclaim his place in her life.

Amy cutting Dan out of her life was a very sensible, healthy decision given how he’d been treating her, and if things had played out differently, I don’t think she would have backtracked on it. I should also say, this is an aspect of how Veep has built their ‘love story’ that I am not in the least bit fond of. The sense that Amy falls back into something with Dan because she’s been boxed in by literally everything in her life going wrong in the worst way possible casts quite a depressing light on their relationship. (Which is yet another reason why Dan needs to WIN her back in the final season – it needs to be clear that Amy actively CHOOSES to be with him, rather than feeling like she has no other options).

Secondly, from what we see in the show, Amy WAS attracted to Buddy. Look how excited she was to tell Selina about him, and how happy she seemed when talking about her visit to Nevada. She wasn’t in love with him, and I think it’s obvious that Buddy should never have been more than a fling, but Amy’s not capable of faking her feelings that way.

Thirdly, it’s very difficult to predict what Dan would do in that scenario, because Veep has shut us out of crucial information on his feelings for Amy all the way through the show.

Now, my working assumption is that Dan didn’t learn that Amy was engaged to Buddy until AFTER the dash cam footage went viral. Most likely, Amy ghosted him as soon as they left the White House, and the interview in 6.03 may well be the first time they had spoken – and Dan clearly knew by the end of the interview, if not at the beginning, that Amy and Buddy were doomed.

What I think strengthens that assumption is how Dan reacted to Ed. Because his reaction WASN’T to compete for Amy, not really. He sulked. He gets drunk at Catherine’s birthday party, and acts out the next night at the dinner, picking on Ed with Jonah and accusing him of not being man enough for D.C. (This is all hilarious to me, by the way). In the very next episode he betrays Selina (and by extension Amy) by helping Chung, and for the rest of the season he only bothers to put any real effort in when Amy, specifically, pays attention to him. What gets him to really commit to doing his job is learning that Amy too is considering jumping ship – something which makes absolutely no sense politically, but does if you assume that his behaviour in 2.07-2.08 is a prolonged pass-aggressive sulk at Amy appearing to have supplanted him with Ed. Which is probably why the moment he sees an opportunity to reclaim that place – by leaving Selina with Amy by his side – he jumps straight on it.

In other words, Dan’s reactions to Ed and Buddy play out in very similar ways, and at no point does he actively compete for Amy’s affection. His MO is to react pretty damn childishly, sulk for as long as Amy appears to ignore him, and then leap at the chance to re-establish himself as the central man in her life (but virtually always with the cover that it’s their PROFESSIONAL bond he values).

It’s an oddly passive way for Dan to behave – especially when you consider how confident he is with women in every other way – but I don’t know if it would change just because the man Amy was with was more…conventionally masculine. I mean, it might – and I can certainly see Dan reassuring himself that Amy wasn’t REALLY attracted to Ed or Buddy, they’re both milquetoasts (though Ed had more spark to him than was obvious initially), which might be harder for him to do if she was dating someone more dashing – but I wouldn’t bet on it.

To be fair, I actually think that the way Season 6 plays out implies that Dan has developed more understanding of Amy’s feelings than is immediately apparent. But I don’t think that had much to do with Buddy, as such.

I think it’s more that Amy’s actions regarding Buddy broke through some of his delusions about their relationship. Because Amy seemed to be committed to her relationship with Buddy right up until the moment she wasn’t. And once she wasn’t, she ran out of Nevada and didn’t look back.

Now Dan has (or, let’s be fair, had) a very unattractive sense of entitlement towards Amy – which is why he sulks like a child when she dares to spend time with someone else, as though she was a favourite toy that had been taken from him, rather than a person who makes decisions based on how she’s treated. He doesn’t COMPETE with Buddy or Ed, because competing with them implies equality – in a competition Amy could choose either one, something Dan refuses to acknowledge is a possibility. Obviously, he can have Amy any time he wants her, and so he’ll wait for her to come back to him, the way she’s supposed to, rather than admitting that Buddy or Ed is an actual rival for Amy, who she may find more attractive than Dan.

However, he is also very intelligent, and he knows Amy incredibly well. So while he may have gone into a passive-aggressive snit about Amy ignoring him and planning to marry someone else (rather than, say, getting on a plane to Nevada and asking her to come back), I think the way Amy left Buddy was what finally broke through his walls of denial and clued him in as to why she ghosted him in the first place.

Because if Amy’s response to Buddy hurting and humiliating her was to cut off all contact and run cross country… well what did Dan do that pushed her into doing the exact same thing to him? Oddly enough for someone who most people consider quite aggressive, Amy’s default response in difficult relationships is flight not fight, and I think Dan is too smart not to have made the connection to his own behaviour once she walked away from Buddy.

Which would explain the way he is…oddly careful with her in 6.05. He doesn’t want to set her running again. He is obnoxious, naturally, but Amy’s comment about her mother, her obvious unhappiness at her position with Selina, and Gary showing up weeping about men exposing themselves in the exact way Buddy did – all of these things give him opportunities to be a lot MORE obnoxious, none of which he takes. Dan being sensitive to anyone’s feelings is such a rarity that it stands out (of course he’s still an ASS which is why he won’t stop talking about Jane).

In conclusion, for a long, long time, Dan has had a fucked up and DEEPLY unpleasant way of thinking about Amy, and we don’t know that he’s fully gotten over it. The pregnancy will be the final test in that regard – because while it would be understandable if Dan assumed a long-term relationship was a foregone conclusion, he has got to get over that sense of entitlement to her if their relationship is ever going to function.

So if they DID give Amy an additional love interest in season 7, it would give Dan the opportunity to (at long fucking last) man up and actually fight for her, rather than assuming she’ll come back to him like some boomerang he threw away. But past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour, so I’m not convinced that he’d do so, even if Amy was being wooed by Idris Elba or Chris Pine or even Paul Newman in his prime.




My flight to Dublin was cancelled. I was supposed to do a job interview. I had booked a hotel room so my family wouldn’t know I was coming back (which I paid for IN ADVANCE). I booked a day off work for it, which I will still have to take.

The interview was originally supposed to take place in London, three weeks ago, but was cancelled because of the Beast. All the trains out of Gatwick were cancelled, the airline offered to reimburse us for hotel rooms and then told us all the hotel rooms were booked, and now I’m stuck on a two hour bus back to London.

I had such a nice evening planned! I was going to go for dinner, check into my hotel, have a bath, do a face mask, get properly relaxed and ready for any questions they might throw at me. (Also it would make up for having to leave home at three pm and losing my Sunday afternoon).

And I can’t rant about it on twitter, because both my parents follow me on there, and if they get the slightest hint that I’m considering moving home the sheer excitement might give one or both of them a stroke.

I hate everything. But especially snow.



please do the Thor flirting with Amy AU id pay…

please do the Thor flirting with Amy AU id pay good money just to read that

Apologies to all – I’ve spent four hours in Gatwick airport waiting for a flight which, it turns out, has been cancelled. I was bored in other words (and I haven’t proof-read this or anything, and I wrote it on my phone, so I have no idea if it’s any good).

Assume it happens sometime shortly before Age of Ultron – which lines up with Selina’s eight months as President (somehow).

Avengers/Veep crossover

It was a medal-giving ceremony.

A medal-giving ceremony and a please don’t fuck up New York more than you already have ceremony and get your picture taken with some of the more reluctant congressmen so they’ll vote at least some money into the reconstruction fund. A picture with Captain America was worth at least a five point bump in the polls, which was enough to convince even Roger Furlong.

The Secret Service had freaked the fuck out at the mere prospect of the Avengers coming to the White House, and Ben had had to do some careful negotiations to get them to relax about it, even though she thought they were being ridiculous. Everyone had agreed that Bruce Banner shouldn’t be on the guest list, and the idea that the walls of the building kept Thor from being a danger to the President was kind of crazy.

But the Secret Service did not like being told that Thor could kidnap or kill the President any time he felt like it, and it took a lengthy discussion about who, exactly, was going to tell the Thunder God he couldn’t bring his hammer to the ball, before they saw reason.

The actual photo-op went better than it had any right to – much to everyone’s surprise, it turned out that Selina knew Tony Stark, had dated him (or something) back in the day, and the two of them bantered and set everyone at their ease.

Okay, set most people at their ease. Amy was too busy wondering whether having Iron Man as an ex-husband would be more or less of a political headache than Andrew to relax, but everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Jonah, somehow, had inveigled his way into the plan, and attempted to hit on Black Widow, which… she blinked at him in a way that seemed to imply she would kill him if it wasn’t too much work. Which, on any other man, would have cut the interaction dead, but Jonah, being Jonah, kept blundering on, offering to show her the White House bowling alley, any time she wanted it, eyebrow raise.

Fortunately, the photographer arrived to get the shot and Jonah was so distracted by his attempts to give advice that he left the super-spy alone.

Trying to find a way Selina could pose with the Avengers and not look utterly dwarfed was almost impossible, especially as her heels kept sinking into the grass. (Iron Man suggested they hold her up, like King Kong with Fay Wray, which Amy was not about to allow).

Still, it was all going so well, right up until, after the photo had been taken, Selina turns to Thor and says, “So, this is the hammer my security team was so worried about – what’s it do?”

He smiled and attempted to answer, though Amy got the feeling it was a dumbed down explanation. “Mjolnir is a tool, Lady President, for whatever use is most needful. It can create, it can destroy -“

“It makes you fly,” Iron Man says. “What do you say, Selina, want a ride on Thor’s hammer?”

“Now Tony,” Selina says, “We don’t want to give the Secret Service a stroke.”

“It would be my honour.”

“Yes, yes, of course it would,” Selina says, “But I couldn’t possibly – you should take Amy.”

“Ma’am, I -“

“Don’t get difficult,” Selina says, glaring at her, “I want to see. And don’t you want to be the only Deputy Chief of Staff to fly with an Avenger. That tops being the first woman, I think.”

At this point Captain America interjects to say how honoured he is, and how grateful, to have had a chance to meet the first female President, and Selina preens herself and says of course he is, and Amy hopes like hell that will be the end of it… but she’ll never be that lucky.

Selina has her heart set on seeing Thor fly, for some ungodly fucking reason, and so Amy finds herself hauled up into his arms and flying several thousand feet above the Washington Monument with barely a word of warning.

She is both furious and very, VERY aware that she does not actually want to be let go of, and so she expresses her discontent by swearing loudly and at length, using every word she can think of and several she’s never actually said before. How dare he? Lifting her up like an unruly kitten, hauling her around like he doesn’t even notice her weight, smiling at the shriek she gives when he takes a dive…

When they land, back in the Rose Garden after what feels like the longest five minutes of Amy’s life, she stumbles, almost the moment Thor lets go of her, and if Dan hadn’t been right there she probably would have faceplanted right in front of the entire press corps.

But he is right there, and he puts his hands on her upper arms, holding her up almost, and normally…normally Dan’s fucking toxic, she tries not to be close to him, but right now… he steadies her.

In innocence, perhaps, she hears Thor as Tony what an overgrown frat boy jizzsack doped up on steroid juice is, and realised that he heard EVERYTHING she said. Dan hears it too, and says, “Didn’t enjoy getting the chance to fly, I take it?”

She shudders, just a little, and shakes her head. “Don’t ever let her do that to me again. Jesus, he’s so big.”

Dan looks irritated, and even more so when Thor approaches them, wearing a guilty expression and carrying one of Amy’s shoes which she’d dropped when they took off unexpectedly.

“Miss Brookheimer,” he says, and sinks to his knees (meaning his head is roughly level with her chest). “My apologies, I did not realise…I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

He’s so sincere, it’s terrifying, and when he takes her ankle in his hand, lifting it so he can slide her shoe back on, Amy has no idea what to say. “I don’t know why Earth women wear these,” he says, pricking his finger with the point of his heel, “They’re not convenient for battle – even Lady Sif would struggle to use a blade on her foot – and you’re all so tiny anyway…”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I get it, I’m short, I’m pocket-sized, I could be a life size hobbit, Jesus fucking Christ you nearly kill me and even then what, feel the need to remind me that I’m little?”

“Amy, sweetie,” Gary says, “Maybe don’t start a fight with an Avenger?”

Her phone rings, thank fuck, giving her an excuse to get out of there…though of course, since she’s walking on grass, she’s denied the opportunity of storming away, and has to pick her way carefully back to her office.

After eviscerating a couple of the junior campaign staff she feels a lot better, and by the time she’s brushed her hair out and changed into her gown, she almost feels ready for human contact. (Asgardian contact she’s not so sure about).

Fortunately, she’s not expected to do anything at the dinner (it’s not a state dinner, because of protocol and rules and the Avengers technically not being a state) and so she sits with Dan and Mike and Sue, eating rubbery chicken and trying not to make eye contact with that asshole Fisk who’s been angling for a formal introduction to the President. No way they’re getting tricked into endorsing him before he’s even been vetted.

Sue and Black Widow really hit it off apparently which…Amy should have been able to predict. Dan gets twitchy when she asks Amy what flying with Thor was like, and even more so when Amy acknowledges that yes, he does have really great arms (it doesn’t make a difference, but she still noticed).

They all start making jokes when Thor approaches their table, and Amy barely has time to tell them to shut up before he’s asking her to dance.

She can’t exactly say no, and so she winds up on the dance floor, where Selina is dancing with Captain America and Doyle is dancing with Black Widow, and hoping that no one will notice her. Of course, given her dance partner, that’s unlikely.

They talk, politely, about the rebuilding efforts in New York and the Avengers role in international security (well, she talks about it, Thor seems at best disinterested), and then, when the song is over, he touches her face very gently and says, “You are so fierce. I only meant… I was impressed.”

She doesn’t really know what to say to that, and it must show, because Thor bows (actually fucking bows), kisses her hand and leaves her there.

If Amy was still capable of bursting into embarrassed giggles, she would, but as is…she makes her way, slowly, back to her table.

She’d been planning to down a glass of champagne or something, but Dan’s there, and he’s clearly too wound up to leave her alone.

“So,” he says, “You just had to copy Selina.”


“Have to be her little clone in everything, don’t you? She fucks an Avenger, you fuck an -“

“No,” she says, irritated with him, “I was fucking polite, you might want to try it sometime.”

“Since was does polite involve eye-fucking?”

“I was not -“

“There was practically a puddle on the floor.”

“Dan, it’s not my fault you can’t tell the difference between dancing and -“

“Don’t be so fucking ridiculous.”

“What? We had a dance, he said something nice…what exactly do you think is going on?”

He looks at her, furious but sputtering, not able to say why, and then a moment later his hands are on her face, and he’s pulling her towards him, and when he kisses her it’s like something clicks in Amy’s head, and it all makes sense.

Of course.

Dan doesn’t let up, and kisses her for long enough that they start to attract notice, aged politicians murmuring disapprovingly at them.

She really doesn’t care. His tuxedo is soft under her fingers, and his hand is firm on the back of her neck, and she wants to press herself closer to him.

They stop, eventually, because they have to, though Dan keeps touching her, his fingers tracing patterns over her shoulders, setting her nerves on fire as he goes.

“Shit,” she breathes out, and he grins. He pushes his face close to hers, so his

mouth is right by her ear, and says, “Coming home with me?”

“Fuck you,” she says, smiling, and knows he understands.